The beginning....

This is not actually the beginning of things with our family but this is where this new chapter of our lives begins. This post is going to be catch-up and then I am going to use this blog to document our adventures, trials, challenges. I don't want to forget a second of my beautiful families life!!
This part of our journey begins in October/November 2009. We felt God pulling on our hearts and had to make a decision, to follow His calling and trust in Him or to be like Jonah and try to slip away from it hoping that God did not pursue the matter. We chose to trust and obey. God had called us to expand our family through adoption. We knew he was calling us to Ethiopia and while we were excited we had our hesitations. Not because of our beautiful little girl-we could not wait to meet her, but because of all the legal and financial logistics. We decided and applied to an agency and God closed that door-thankfully. We then went to Children's Hope International and have been so blessed by this journey with them. This was not the end of the challenges. In December my Dad, Grandpa/Papa Haenisch was not feeling well. On December 24, 2009 he was diagnosed with stage IV Pancreatic cancer. He made the decision to fight it and we had one of the best years ever. He was so excited about our baby girl and how God was working in our lives. He was our number one supporter and fan/ him and mom. He committed his life to Christ a long time ago and lived his final months in a way that would continue to glorify God! He was one of those men that didn't just live life to live it, he lived life and when he went home to the Lord he left a legacy behind him! A legacy that we will continually share with our children. The have so many great memories with him and so many pictures of all the things he did with them-thankfully. He always had time for them and made away to include them in whatever he was doing, willingly teaching them lessons as they worked and played. He longed to meet our baby girl and I know he shed tears over not getting the chance. That is where the title of this blog came from-from him. When we knew he was getting worse I asked for something that I could keep with me all the time. He picked out a ring for Mom, Jaime, Grandma, and myself. He then chose what words he wanted on them. My ring has our names and mine says TIFFANY & DAD, ONE IN HEART. With 2 interlocking hearts with his birthstone in one and mine in the other. This thought has helped get me through so many different times since we lost him on September 28, 2010. This was the worst day of my life to this point and yet this amazing man really isn't fully gone because of the way he allowed God to use him to touch so many-because of the Legacy that he left. When I have regrets or struggles where Dady is concerned I can look back knowing that I knew him well enough to know exactly what he would have said or done. I am so blessed that he had such an amazing and close relationship with the boys and pray that God blesses them with vivid memories of him. Chase took it very hard immediately. He knew grandpa was sick and when we tried to talk about it with him he would totally avoid the subject and then make little comments like "some kids don't like it when their grandpa's are hurting" and then he would move on to something else. The look of hurt and pain in his eyes when we told him is something I will never forget. He immediately started sobbing and continued for quite sometime-he was 3 and we were not prepared for this. We were almost prepared for anything but this actually, Grandpa really was his best friend. Cody did not really respond immediately, after all he wasn't even 2 yet. We have since learned that even though he was so little his Papa was his world. He used to sit at the window when he would see him outside and cry until Papa came into see him! He has since surprised us saying such things as "Papa Out"- referring to wanting Papa to come out of the CD player when they are listening to his recorded stories. "Papa Hold me", "Papa...How....Die", We have since been challenged with reminding both boys that their Grandpa/Papa did not choose to leave them, which I think they know but will really understand someday. They do know he loved them and we will always remind them of that and I can not wait to tell our beautiful little girl all about her Papa and how much he loved her! Most likely it does not work this way but I am OK with thinking in my heart that he will get to see her from Heaven before we ever meet her, maybe even help choose her for us. Ok like I said, I know it probably doesn't work that way but ........it's a very comforting thought-as is the fact that we serve a gracious, merciful, and loving God who is always there!
Some of my favorite memories of this past year come from just watching the boys growing up, watching Luke expanding his equine business and the ways mom and dad blessed us by just being a very active part of our lives. Amazing Godly examples of husband and wife, parents, grandparents, along with the example Dad set as a businessman. Not just speaking but really living that way, allowing God to guide every decision and giving Him the glory even through the cancer!
Onto our baby girl, again I come back to the One In Heart.......she is in my heart and I long to have her in my arms. For awhile I was consumed of thoughts of her. Not a bad thing I might add. I love to pray for her and think of her, longing to hold her and to have her here where I can protect her and nurture her. God has and is continuing to work on my heart, His timing is perfect and she is His child. Whether here in our home or still in Ethiopia-she is HIS!! As are our boys! I am not always a fan of this lesson because I want to have them all, including the rest of my family in little bubbles where they can never be hurt (I typed this and then heard a crash and Cody crying...)-ok he is alright. God wants what is best for all of us and most importantly wants us to allow ourselves to be used to further His kingdom. After all-this is our temporary home!
This entry has jumped all over the place and I am sure there will be more like it but it is a starting point to our story!