I think that there is one word that can describe our lives and this is where the title of this blog comes from....waiting. We are still waiting to hear news about our little girl (we are in the single digits on our agencies wait list though!), praying everyday that she is being cared for and loved on by those around her. If you know me you know that waiting without a plan and I do not really go well together. I am a huge planner and at the beginning of every year I sit down and transfer all of my birthdays and anniversary's from the old calendar to the new one. I then begin to pencil in things I know will be going on, things to work towards and look forward to. The reality is though we really don't work towards some of those things we just live and as each day goes by we get closer and closer to those things we were waiting for. We prepare for them and plan (there's that word - PLAN - did I mention I love plans!!). The fact that I do that has really hit home lately, I can't plan for the call about her or plan for when we are leaving because we know nothing, only that we are WAITING! There is nothing I can do in this situation but sit back and wait on God's timing, I can't do anything to make his timing speed up or change-we can only wait. (This is an encouraging verse for me because I may not know the plan but He does!!
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.")
We were in a similar situation when we found out about Dad's cancer, we could only wait to see what God had planned for the future. His plan certainly was not what we wanted but we saw Him working through that and have continued to grow and mature in Him through it all. There are times in life that the only thing we can do is sit at His feet and wait, patiently (or at least an attempt at patience). I would like to think that each time we have to do this it gets easier but it doesn't, it's just different each time. Each time we grow and learn new lessons though. This has become one of my favorite verses :
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
I find I get so anxious while I wait because I do not like the unknown. I have many anxious thoughts about going to get our little girl and about our boys and what will happen in their future (e.g. The other day I found myself becoming very anxious about Chase going to school NEXT year-what if he can't find his classroom when he gets off the bus, what if he is scared, what if someone is mean to him, what if his teacher doesn't have patients with him and all of his questions-what if she doesn't understand that he does it because he really wants to know how everything works and will remember exactly what she tells him, and the list goes on.......I know that was a runon sentence but that is about the speed my brain takes when it goes on one of it's little anxiety adventures).
I love that this verse is so clear, it doesn't say don't be anxious about the things you can't control or about the things you can control. It says do not be anxious about ANYTHING! A big weight is lifted when you think about it, I don't have to worry about it or be anxious about it I just have to pray and come before the Lord, sharing my heart with Him. Following his direction - my job is simply to come to Him. He has it all under control!
I also like this verse as I think about all of my kids but especially our little girl.
Psalm 139:13 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." We may not be holding her in our arms yet but He knew her from the beginning and while hard to imagine loves her and our boys more than we could even dream to do. This is encouraging in many ways.
While we wait we are doing our best to approach this new year living each day to it's fullest. Being excited about the future but loving the moment we are in as well.
Quick update on the boys: Chase and Cody are both doing great, they are continually asking about their sister and still don't quite understand. Cody thinks that she lives in a hotel somewhere and Chase insists that someone needs to take a picture of her with their phone and send it to us. In his mind it is a very simple thing!! They continue to amaze us as they grow. We find ourselves trying hard to treat Cody more grown up, after all he is our baby right now but in truth is very much a preschooler and not a baby anymore! He is quite the picker but has the most tender heart. Chase reminds us daily how grown up he is with his in depth conversations and fun personality.
Pics of the boys as we continu
e to just love life and wait....!
e to just love life and wait....!
