WAITING.........

I have been horrible at staying on task with blogging and so many people have been asking about our adoption so I figured I would just update everyone all at once.

I think that there is one word that can describe our lives and this is where the title of this blog comes from....waiting. We are still waiting to hear news about our little girl (we are in the single digits on our agencies wait list though!), praying everyday that she is being cared for and loved on by those around her. If you know me you know that waiting without a plan and I do not really go well together. I am a huge planner and at the beginning of every year I sit down and transfer all of my birthdays and anniversary's from the old calendar to the new one. I then begin to pencil in things I know will be going on, things to work towards and look forward to. The reality is though we really don't work towards some of those things we just live and as each day goes by we get closer and closer to those things we were waiting for. We prepare for them and plan (there's that word - PLAN - did I mention I love plans!!). The fact that I do that has really hit home lately, I can't plan for the call about her or plan for when we are leaving because we know nothing, only that we are WAITING! There is nothing I can do in this situation but sit back and wait on God's timing, I can't do anything to make his timing speed up or change-we can only wait. (This is an encouraging verse for me because I may not know the plan but He does!!

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.")

We were in a similar situation when we found out about Dad's cancer, we could only wait to see what God had planned for the future. His plan certainly was not what we wanted but we saw Him working through that and have continued to grow and mature in Him through it all. There are times in life that the only thing we can do is sit at His feet and wait, patiently (or at least an attempt at patience). I would like to think that each time we have to do this it gets easier but it doesn't, it's just different each time. Each time we grow and learn new lessons though. This has become one of my favorite verses :

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I find I get so anxious while I wait because I do not like the unknown. I have many anxious thoughts about going to get our little girl and about our boys and what will happen in their future (e.g. The other day I found myself becoming very anxious about Chase going to school NEXT year-what if he can't find his classroom when he gets off the bus, what if he is scared, what if someone is mean to him, what if his teacher doesn't have patients with him and all of his questions-what if she doesn't understand that he does it because he really wants to know how everything works and will remember exactly what she tells him, and the list goes on.......I know that was a runon sentence but that is about the speed my brain takes when it goes on one of it's little anxiety adventures).

I love that this verse is so clear, it doesn't say don't be anxious about the things you can't control or about the things you can control. It says do not be anxious about ANYTHING! A big weight is lifted when you think about it, I don't have to worry about it or be anxious about it I just have to pray and come before the Lord, sharing my heart with Him. Following his direction - my job is simply to come to Him. He has it all under control!

I also like this verse as I think about all of my kids but especially our little girl.

Psalm 139:13 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." We may not be holding her in our arms yet but He knew her from the beginning and while hard to imagine loves her and our boys more than we could even dream to do. This is encouraging in many ways.

While we wait we are doing our best to approach this new year living each day to it's fullest. Being excited about the future but loving the moment we are in as well.

Quick update on the boys: Chase and Cody are both doing great, they are continually asking about their sister and still don't quite understand. Cody thinks that she lives in a hotel somewhere and Chase insists that someone needs to take a picture of her with their phone and send it to us. In his mind it is a very simple thing!! They continue to amaze us as they grow. We find ourselves trying hard to treat Cody more grown up, after all he is our baby right now but in truth is very much a preschooler and not a baby anymore! He is quite the picker but has the most tender heart. Chase reminds us daily how grown up he is with his in depth conversations and fun personality.

Pics of the boys as we continue to just love life and wait....!

JUST ASK BUCKET LIST GIVEAWAY GETAWAY

This is my entry in the Just Ask Bucket List Getaway Giveaway. Just Ask offers a breast and ovarian cancer screening and is encouraging people to share 15 things that I want to enjoy in my lifetime as a reminder to be aware of my health. Want to enter? Head over to TodaysMama.com to get the details.

Some Items on my bucket list (Not in any particular order except for the first 4):
1. Live every day with no regrets
2. Bring our Daughter home from Ethiopia
3. See a cure for Cancer
4. Watch and enjoy my children grow up and succeed in whatever they choose to do in life
5. Take a cross country vacation with my husband when we are older
6. Take a cruise to Alaska
7. Visit Fiji or Tahiti and stay in a bungalow over the water
8. Completely decorate my house
9. Have our property completely landscaped
10. Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary with my husband
11. Raise Children that have committed their lives to the Lord and know without a shadow of a doubt that they are loved!!
12. Master baking and decorating cakes and cupcakes.
13. grow a beautiful flower garden
14. Take a big family vacation (Disney, cruise, etc)
15. Renew my vows on a quiet beach

One year ago

A year ago today at this time Dad had been in the arms of Jesus for 2 hours. Our lives were forever changed and we lost the most amazing role model, grandfather, father, and friend. I will have to post about this past year at another time but one thing I have learned is that the legacy he left behind is one that allows him to still be a huge part of our lives even though he is not physically here anymore. The boys remember so much about their grandpa and still struggle with missing him, as we all do. We could not have been more blessed by having him as a part of our lives!!

What a month!

What a month of craziness!! We started the month by going to Columbus Ohio for the Equine Affaire. Luke placed 4th in his competition-missing first by only 2.5 points and competing against people that train full time for a living. He is amazing! (I am biased but seriously he's good at what he does and he loves it, now only if he could do that full time :).

Chase and Cody were quite the pair at the Equine affaire, they fell asleep during a competition and gained quite a bit of attention afterwards (picture below). They had more pictures taken of them than some of the horses there! I also came into their bedroom at the hotel the one night to find them sleeping beside eachother holding hands. They are becoming quite good friends lately and loyal to eachother!! (They do still fight with the best of them though).

We came home Sunday to deal with some stuff going on here on Monday and then Luke left Tuesday for South Dakota. He had a great trip and was able to meet the Reinhold's-an great family with a real heart for God, I can't wait to meet them someday. We had purchased 7 horses from them 4 years ago but had never actually met face to face so it was a great opportunity. Luke picked out 6 horses that will be relocating to NY in the next couple of weeks. Can't wait to see them.

Luke came home late Sunday night and we then had a family gathering for the Reinbold's on Sunday. It was a great start to the month getting to see so many friends and family!

It seems like spring wanted to come but then decided it wasn't quite ready. I really wanted to get a head start on cleaning up our yard and things from the winter months but apparently we are going to have rain and snow for a little while longer. We are all very ready to be outside in some nice weather. This week turned out to be quite the adventure....Cody was sick on Tuesday and has continued to not feel well through today (Friday) and last night Chase got sick! Guess I don't mind that it's not to nice out since we would not have been outside that much anyways.

We were able to catch up on some snuggle time though.

We also had quite the adventure with our cat, Mouse. While Luke was gone the cat had found a mouse and decided that instead of killing it he would bring it down to the living room for all of us to see. He then thought it would be fun to not kill the little thing but to just play with it. I caught it in a container and took it far away from the house to let it go. I am not a big fan of mice, I think they are kind of cute but they lose all cuteness when it comes to having one in my house.

Unfortunately that is not the end of the encounters with mice. The other morning (by morning I mean 2 a.m.) Luke wakes me up and tells me to get out of bed. The cat was acting odd he said, trying to get under our sheets, which he never does. Luke had a funny feeling that he had brought in a present for us. Me not really being totally with it just went along with Luke, we started to pull the sheets and the blankets off of the bed and all of a sudden this little mouse falls out and starts running down the hallway. Luke grabs the cat and starts running after the mouse! Seriously cat, DO NOT BRING THE MICE OUT OF THE ATTIC TO SHOW US-IF WE HAVE THEM WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT-JUST KILL THEM!!!!!!! Now I know they say that pretty much everyone has mice or a mouse-I just don't tolerate it well and will do whatever possible to completely get rid of them (except I won't actually kill them-hence the letting the one go far away from the house). Needless to say next week our attic will be full of mouse traps, if there are anymore they will not be there for long!!!! I had to write this because I am certain that someday I will look back on this and laugh-someday in the very distant future!

Tonight is a night that I have to write about because I really want to remember it. Cody was very cuddly because he did not feel well and Chase decided that cuddling would be fun to, so we all climbed into the recliner to watch the end of a movie. I looked down and Chase and Cody are holding hands just as content as could be. We then proceeded to get ready for bed and Chase had to go to the bathroom, he was yelling for me to come in and wipe him -thank you Chase :)- and as I'm walking in the bathroom Cody is grabbing the toilet paper getting ready to help his brother! Chase wasn't to thrilled with the idea but Cody's little heart was in the right place. They then went to brush their teeth and Cody took both of their toothbrushes and put toothpaste on them and proceeded to hand me the dental floss. What a little helper!! I just love seeing them enjoy eachother and pray that they will grow up being the best of friends and encouragers to eachother!

When I put them to bed we continued to read the Easter story out of the Bible and I love to hear Chase talk about it. He is still trying to figure it all out and is so full of questions but I love it. Being a mom is definitely the best job ever

We had another first this month as well. Mom and Dad's anniversary was yesterday-her first anniversary without him here. We are missing him more than ever lately but he raised us well and encouraged all of us, so we know we can make it because of the lessons that he taught to us. Mom is such an amazing Godly woman and we are so blessed to have her here and to be able to walk through this journey with her. I wish it was a different journey-one with Dad still in it but all of the wishing in the world or praying won't make that possible, so we push on and take each day as it comes. They had an amazing marriage and I hope that Luke and I can learn from that and show that kind of love settin the same example for our children! I have to admit I was hoping and praying that we would get a referral on that day to give some brightness to it, but we again wait on God's timing knowing that it is perfect!

So excited, we found out that we went from number 28 on our waiting list to 18th!!! The last family given a referral waited 5.5 months and we will be waiting 5 months on the 12th-can't wait to see what happens in the next few months :)!!

Beach Party

We decided to beat the winter blues today. Waking up to snow on the ground again and more falling from the sky was not something that we were looking forward to today. The boys have been so ready for spring to get here, just the thought of being able to go outside and play is enough to make them both giddy with excitement. Unfortunately for them this winter has been very cold and very windy so they have spent little time playing outside and are missing it. Today I decided to surprise them with an indoor beach party. I moved the dining room furniture out and the "beach" in. They were both so excited, Chase insisted on wearing his life jacket the entire time.

Update Day:

Fridays are always an exciting day, we get an update from our adoption agency which includes the number of referals given. Usually we get it in the evening but I have to admit I check a couple of times during the day to see if it arrived early. With each referal given we are one step closer to our little girl! :) We are so excited today especially though because we found out that one of my closest friends has a travel date for her and her husband to fly and meet and bring home their little boy-so EXCITING!!

Growing up

I can't believe how much they've changed and how big they are getting!